self-sabotage - WHY do I do it???

taken directly from http://breakfreefromselfsabotage.com/01articles/how-to-know-when-you-are-sabotaging-your-own-success.htm

40 Powerful Ways to Self Sabotage Your Success

Before we begin our journey through the 40 powerful ways you can self-sabotage your own success, let's take a moment to define "self-sabotage".

Self-sabotage is most recognizable by the experience of an internal "tug-of-war" between having a desire to do something and feeling like you can't or shouldn't do it.

Any time you hear yourself say, "I want to do this, but I can't (or I shouldn't)!" this is the inner conflict of self-sabotage.

Self sabotage is when there is no logical or rational explanation for why you can't do the things you want to do or why you can't have the things you want to have. If there is anything you really want to do or have, but are unable to bring it into your life--and there is no logical, rational, or otherwise, "real" reason why you can't do and/or have it--you are experiencing self-sabotage!

It's not a lack of desire, skills, knowledge or effort that holds you back. Rather, there's something inside you that's stronger than your desire and it blocks your efforts to do the things you want to do and have the things you want to have.

Self-sabotage can show up in many different ways and on many different levels of severity. For example, if you really want to develop an Internet business, but the moment you sit down to start working on it, you start distracting yourself with all the other things you "should" do instead... this is the internal conflict of self-sabotage.

Or for example, you really want to hire additional people into your business, but keep putting it off for fear of not hiring the right people to get the job done... this is the struggle of self-sabotage.

Or for example, you really want to conduct more sales and/or marketing activities but find yourself doing all sorts of “other” things to distract yourself from ever getting to these activities... this too is self sabotage.

While it may seem difficult, you can break free from your self sabotaging barriers. The first and most important step is to recognize your specific self sabotage behaviors and barriers. Once you have accepted full responsibility for your self sabotage behaviors and barriers you can begin the process of breaking free from their strong-hold on you. 

To follow is a list of the 40 most powerful ways in which people sabotage their own efforts to create the success they desire. Use this as a checklist to begin taking an honest look at your own behaviors.

You are experiencing self-sabotage behavior if... 

1. You start projects designed to create your success, make some progress, then lose interest and don't finish them.
2. You procrastinate doing the tasks that will actually produce the success you desire. (Procrastination is the poster-child of self-sabotage behavior!)
3. You worry too much about what others will think of you if you confidently promote yourself, your products and/or your business.
4. As soon as an idea begins to produce revenue you begin distracting yourself away from this idea and on to new "even better" ideas.
5. You work diligently to create a business plan and/or strategy for developing your idea into something profitable - so you know exactly what important things need to be done (setting up a website, developing e-products, building a marketing list, networking, etc.) - but you constantly do other things instead of these important things.
6. You tell yourself that your “excuses” for not doing the important activities are real “reasons”.
7. You let yourself get discouraged by how hard it is to make money in today's economy.
8. You let yourself get overwhelmed by the massive money-making opportunities that all promise “riches beyond belief”.
9. You let yourself get overwhelmed by the massive marketing and prospecting opportunities that all promise “results beyond belief”.
10. You try a few things that don't work very well and let disappointment and discouragement stop you from persisting onward.
11. You pigeon-hole yourself into one or two “safe” money-making behaviors that limit your revenue and income.
12. Despite the fact that you know your topic inside and out, you are uncomfortable marketing yourself as an “expert” in your field.
13. You don't focus on any subject or product long enough to actually be an expert, which significantly decreases your self confidence.
14. You try to implement too many ideas at one time which only serves to diminish the focus of your work.
15. You spend all of your time, money and energy trying to learn how to be successful and never actually get around to doing the things that will create your success.
16. You don't set specific goals for guiding your success-making efforts and decisions.
17. You can’t get yourself to stick to realistic long-term money strategies that will guide your spending decisions.
18. You set your goals as things you “don't want” (debt, struggle) that cause you to focus on the negative instead of what you actually “do want”.
19. You won't delegate.
20. You set your goals based on what you think other people want you to do.
21. You have secret fears about people criticizing you for making and having an abundance of financial success.
22. You have secret fears that being successful will make other people not like you.
23. You are afraid that if you try to create success and fail people will criticize you.
24. You are all talk and no action.
25. You make the same poor money decisions over and over and over again.
26. You are addicted to struggle.
27. You do things to create debt and other negative consequences.
28. You have come to believe that you cannot make money doing what you really want to do.
29. You’ve been knocked down enough times that it is becoming harder and harder to get back up and try again.
30. You have a product or service that you want to sell but tell yourself that no one will think it is worth paying for.
31. You constantly devalue yourself and your talents by “giving away” your services.
32. You acquire a large sum of money and sabotage your way to losing all of it.
33. You have inner programming that tells you that making and having lots of money is sinful or otherwise bad.
34. Deep down you have this nagging feeling that you really aren't worthy of the success you seek so you have trouble motivating yourself to really give it your very best effort.
35. You have sooo many great ideas that it seems impossible to pick one and get started.
36. You make compulsive decisions that jeopardize your financial stability. 
37. You know you have the potential to do more with your life, but are afraid of failure (or success).
38. You wish you could procrastinate less and accomplish more.
39. You constantly avoid completing the important things on your to-do list.
40. You have to force yourself to stay committed to your goals.

 

You want to feel like this…

 

 

 

 

However, most of the time you actually feel like this…

 

Everyone has self-sabotage barriers and behaviors!

Self-sabotage happens to people of all ages, professions, financial and social status! Few people are exempt from this frustrating fact of life!

However, authentically successful people will do whatever they need to do to break free from their self sabotaging barriers and behaviors so they can easily and naturally move toward the successful accomplishment of their goals.

Consider this: A person making $100,000 per year has very different internal thought-processes and beliefs about money than someone who makes $20,000 per year.

If you are experiencing self-sabotage barriers and behaviors, it is because you have internal thought-processes and beliefs that are out of alignment with your desired goals.

Look at what you are currently creating in your life. This is what your internal thought-processes and beliefs are currently in alignment with creating. Successful people are in alignment with focusing on doing the work to create success, while frustrated "want-to-be" people are in alignment with focusing on the challenges and problems that repel success.

You must put yourself into genuine and authentic alignment with the mindset of the person you want to be! Only then will you allow your success to come into your life.

Every single person on this planet has the potential to be abundantly successful! If you want to be counted among the abundantly successful people of this world you must break free from your own internal need for the challenges, problems and barriers that are sabotaging your success.

The most effective way to successfully break free from your self sabotaging barriers and behaviors is to...

1) Uncover your hidden, unhealthy thought-processes and beliefs that are out of alignment with your goals (often referred to as the "ah-ha moment") and

2) Replace them with thought-processes and beliefs that support your desires and compel you toward the successful accomplishment of your goals.

Unfortunately, many people stop after step 1 when they have uncovered the source of their self sabotage and had their "ah-ha moment".

Some people only work on step 2.  They will spend hours and hours and hours feeding their brain with positive affirmations and other means to try to "override" their self sabotaging thought processes and beliefs without first uncovering its source.

In order to create long-term, lasting change that puts you into genuine and authentic alignment with easily and naturally moving toward your desired success you must do both steps 1 and 2! You must uncover and identify the old ineffective thought-processes and beliefs and then install new, more effective thought-processes that show your brain how to easily get you safely to your desired success.

Note: If your brain already knew how to get you what you want in a more effective manner it would have done it already. When your brain is lacking the internal thought-processes for moving you toward your goal - it is your job to install a new more effective thought-process. Did you grow up in an environment filled with people who were successfully doing what you want to do? If not, you probably do not have effective thought-processes already installed in your brain.

Once you are in genuine alignment with your goals and desires, you will find yourself being naturally and easily compelled toward the accomplishment of your desired success from an abundance of new internal forces. Your mind, body and soul will come together to naturally and easily move you toward the accomplishment of your goals!

To learn more about and easy to follow, step-by-step process for uncovering your old unhealthy beliefs that are currently creating self sabotage and then installing new, more effective thought-processes and beliefs designed to compel you toward your success, please visit us at www.SelfSabotageBehavior.com.

I hope this guide has helped you to become more aware of the powerful ways in which you may be sabotaging your own efforts to live the successful and abundant life you are working to create.

My hope is that my work will help you move toward living the happy and prosperous life you dream of living!

Sincerely,

        

Read more: http://breakfreefromselfsabotage.com/01articles/how-to-know-when-you-are-sabotaging-your-own-success.htm#ixzz2USvWQuLB

I have no willpower...

So, I have no willpower. I start things (I'm talking about goals here), then find really good, solid excuses to make an exception, or brake that one rule I said I wouldn't brake. And then... well, then it all goes down hill...
I remembered reading something one (a long time ago) about why doing something 100% was better and ACTUALLY EASIER than doing it 89% or 95%. At that time I read that I remember that I actually ate all raw food (fruits, vegetables, nuts) for 8 consecutive days AND it wasn't hard. I decided to do it 100% and it somehow it wasn't hard. If something wasn't a fruit, vegetable or nut adulterated/changed by heat/cooking it then I wouldn't eat it.
Now, every time that I try to eat mostly raw, or raw until dinner I always end up messing it up big time (or so I feel). I eat very healthy breakfasts, lunches, and snacks, and then, when dinner time comes and I can eat cooked food I eat a whole whale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I eat everything I can get my hands on that is not healthy!?!?!?!?!?!??! Why do I do that??????
Now - my problem is not eating cooked food. Cooked food isn't bad...My problem is that I end up reversing all the good eating that I had done up to dinner time.
So I did a little research and loved reading the quote and article below:

"it’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time. If you give in to “just this once,” based on a marginal cost analysis, as some of my former classmates have done, you’ll regret where you end up. You’ve got to define for yourself what you stand for and draw the line in a safe place."

Clayton Christensen

100% is easier than 99%: Why Moderation Doesn’t Work

by Aaron

Forget moderation.
I tried it for many years. It’s never worked for me. It’s just too hard.

Photo by Marcel Germain

Looking back at the times I have done something that has boosted me forward in life, there was nothing moderate about it. I stopped going out completely for two months before my LSAT. Gave up sugar, alcohol, and fast food for a month. Swore off of news, politics, and following the stock market. Ran twelve miles over terrain and obstacles in near freezing temperatures. Jumped off a bridge.
Whenever I jumped into something 100%, friends would tell me that they could never do something like that. They’d tell me that I must have incredible willpower to have pulled something like that off.
I usually nod and accept the compliment.
But today I’m admitting my dirty secret: I have no willpower.
A stronger person could balance studying with an active social life to get ready for an exam. Not me.
Someone with willpower would never have to give up sugar, alcohol and fast food for a month. They just eat healthy all the time.
A strong-willed person doesn’t have to continually schedule Tough Mudders and other races to force himself to stay in shape. People with willpower just do it. I have to do something crazy.
True, moderation is a nice goal. If you can do it.
For me, if I have sugar or fast food once, I crave more sugar and fast food the next day. It’s just easier for me to stay away for long periods.
If I stop working out for a week, it’s near impossible to get back in the gym. As soon as I break the cycle, it’s like starting all over.
This is why people in Alcoholics Anonymous vow to have no drinks. Not because moderation isn’t a worthy goal. It’s because moderation is almost impossible for those who don’t have ridiculous willpower. If you had ridiculous willpower, you wouldn’t need the plan to quit drinking in the first place.
Weight Watchers works the same way. You get a certain number of “points” that you can have. Yes, there is flexibility in how you space out the use of those points, but you stick to a dummy-proof plan, 100% of the time.
What the folks at Alcoholic Anonymous and Weight Watchers have figured out is that 100% is easier than 99%.
When you take a day off, it’s a huge challenge to get started the next day.

Creating a habit is like pushing a car; it’s getting started that’s hard. Once you’ve got momentum, it’s easier. But as soon as you take a break, the car stops, and you need a big boost of motivation to get it moving again.
Here’s the thing: motivation doesn’t come in a long steady stream. It comes in waves.
If you stop pushing the car when your motivation is low, it stops for good. You end the diet. You quit working out. You never finish writing the book.
For those of us without willpower, we have to use the power of a wave of motivation to get us started and then ride that momentum through the low times. The way to do this is to commit to doing something 100% of the time.
100% means there’s no guesswork.
We don’t have to guess when it’s OK to eat cheesecake, or have a few drinks, or skip a workout. There’s no getting back to it tomorrow. There’s no debate about letting things slide “just this once.” We choose 100%, not 99%.
I’m not suggesting you permanently give up sugar or go running every day for the rest of your life. You can commit to doing something for a month. But when you choose to do something, commit to doing it 100%.
People will think you’re crazy for going all out and doing something 100%. Because most people don’t do anything 100%, and it makes them feel like a slacker.
Friends will even try to dissuade you from going 100%. “Do everything in moderation,” they’ll say. My answer from now on: “Moderation is nice for those with the willpower to do it.”
Is there an area where you want to make progress but just can’t get it to stick? Try giving it 100% for 30 days. Give up sugar. Stop checking the news. Write every day. Get off Facebook. Exercise every morning. Go without alcohol. Wake up early every day.
Forget moderation. Give 100%.

The biggest vitamin I need is - Self love

101 Awesome ways to use Lemon, Peppermint, & Lavender Oil

LEMON

Home Use
1. A Cure for Laundry Neglect. Lemon essential oil takes out ALL odor when you forget and leave your load of laundry in the washer way too long!
2. Tame Oozy, Sappy Trees. Whether the sap is on your carpet, clothes or seeped into your skin, lemon oil is excellent for removing pine gum and tree sap.
3. Stop Grease in its Tracks. You just fixed your bike. Your hands are black and greasy. Soap alone won’t remove the grease, but lemon oil mixed with your soap will.  Lemon oil is a great de-greaser!
4. Disinfect the Disgusting. You can add lemon oil to a spray bottle of water and attack what may be living in your range hood, on your tables, countertops and other surfaces. For some extra chemical-free firepower, a little vinegar is a traditional favorite.
5. Lose the Gas Mask. When you clean the gunky build up in your shower, do you practically have to wear a gas mask to survive the fumes? Go gas mask free and clean with lemon oil. Just a small amount of lemon oil will go a long way in removing hard water build up.
6. Nourish Your Leathers. Whether you ride a Harley in style or cherish the patina of your leather sofa at home, your leathers are not maintenance free. Use a lemon oil soaked cloth to preserve them, and prevent leather from splitting.
7. High Ho Silver. A lemon oil treated cloth is a great remedy for the early stages of tarnish on silver or other metals. You may not eat on silver every day, but bracelets, earrings, necklaces often need some love.
8. Deactivate the Sticky. Lemon oil can help you avert a hair cutting crisis the next time you deal with gum in hair. Got kids with obsessive addictions to stickers or temporary tattoos? Works for those too. Not for wide receivers.
9. Love Your Luster. Bring your furniture back to life with lemon oil! Just add a few drops of lemon oil to olive oil for a non-toxic furniture polish. Lemon oil leaves a beautiful shine, prevents fine wood finishes from drying out, and replaces lost moisture in antique woods as it penetrates worn finishes.
10. De-Smudge Your Stainless. You don’t need to hunt down that “single use” stainless steel cleaner anymore. Multi-use lemon oil is great for cleaning stainless steel appliances. You’ll love the way stainless looks and smells!
11. Clean Granite or Porous Stone. What is living in the pores of your natural stone counters or floors? Lemon oil cleans deeply, seeps into stone and leaves you with a “real fresh lemons” aroma, rather than that fake lemon chemical smell.
12. Energize your Brush.  If your toothbrush seems a bit tired, add a drop of lemon and peppermint oils to chase away that run-down feeling.
13. Quarantine Pungencies. Moldy kid’s sneakers, a baby’s blowout, potty training … it all adds up to an less than desirable aroma. Diffuse or spray lemon oil and neutralize odors at their source!
14. Take the Spine Out of Scuffs. Got a scuff mark that just won’t go away? Lemon oillifts scuff marks in remarkable ways!
15. Curtail the Dank, Musty or Mildewed. Things get stored away. Things get old. Things don’t see the light of day. Chase away that “old smell” and inject new energy with a good lemon oil wipe down.
16.Stop Cutting Board Bacteria Palooza. Cutting boards can harbor bacteria in your kitchen.  Nobody wants to taste the chemicals you have in your cleaning closet, yet most people love the taste of lemon!
17. Control an Aphid Invasion, Naturally.  Aphids — those pesky little bugs that dine on your roses and other plants.  Lemon oil (or peppermint) with water in a garden spray bottle are a natural pesticide that kills aphids and their larvae on contact, but leave your plants looking lovely.
18.Spot-Free Dishes. Add a few drops of lemon oil to your dishwasher soap container with each load.  Your dishes will come out looking like new… spot-free!
19. Refresh Bad Smelling Washcloths. When your kitchen washcloths smell foul and could use a boost, add lemon oil to your detergent, soak overnight, wash, dry and your kitchen will smell so much better!
Cooking & Food
20. Energy Boost. For a quick, refreshing energy boost, combine a couple drops each of lemon essential oil and peppermint essential oil in a glass of water and drink up. Add a lemony taste to your bottled water.
21. Zest Up Your Sugary Indulgences. There are an infinite number of ways lemon oil can add a bit of freshness to your sugary savors: Lemon frosting • Lemon merengue • Sour cream lemon pie • Lemon cakes • Lemon tart glaze • Lemon squares  • Lemon cookies  • Breathtaking, awe-inspiring lemonade
23. Pep Up Your Entrees. With lemon oil, there are countless ways to make the bland zippy, or the blah peppy:  Roasted salmon & asparagus with lemon oil, Linguine & shrimp with lemon oil, Lemon oil drizzled over vegetables (especially broccoli),  Lemon garlic shrimp  … or to add a fresh kick to an already great salad.
24. Preserve What You’ve Got. Use lemon oil in a spray to keep your cut fruit fresh until serving.
Body & Mind
25. Ease Respiratory Gunkity Goop. When used witha humidifier, it’s a great way to slow wheezing, colds, cough, and other upper respiratory problems.
26. De-scratch Your Scratchy Throat. Adding a couple drops of lemon essential oil to warm water & honey can change that yucky sore throat feeling, slow a nasty cough, and douse a fever. Lemon oil fights bacteria, as well as viruses.
27. Honeylicious Hair Highlights …Chemical Free. Skip the expensive salon highlight treatment, and use lemon oil to create your own hair highlights.  Just go in the sun after using with your hair product, and it will lighten your hair.  Be careful, it works well!
28.  Fight the Fungus Among Us. Tired of seeing that unsightly nail fungus?  Lemon oil is great for nails, and can help fight against nail fungus.
29.  Halt the Nervous Nellie, In You. When combined with lavender oil and diffused into a room, you’ll find you feel less anxious, a better  mood, more even keel, and well … linear.
30. Clear Thinking & Clear Focus, Made Visible. A clear mind, a clean slate, a fresh outlook.  It’s all good.  Real good. Diffuse lemon oil and you got it.
31. Take the Heat Out of Cold Sores. When you have a gnarly cold sore that’s just begging for attention, douse it with a few drops of lemon oil and you’ll have a new best friend.
32. Nice Mood … No Really.  Chase away the moody blues (not the band), with a bit of blah-reducing lemon oil. Whether you choose to diffuse it or apply topically, it’s hard to not improve your outlook with lemon oil around!
33.  Was That a Crusty? Next time you notice hard, crusty skin on your feet, (e.g. corns, calluses or bunions) regularly add a few drops of lemon oil and you’ll soon have softened skin!
34.  A Brighter Complexion. Lemon oil can help remove dead skin cells and exfoliate.  For a homemade exfoliant, add 4-5 drops to a small amount of oatmeal and water for a homemade scrub.  Feels great!

PEPPERMINT

Home Use
35. Calm a Tempest.  Just one drop of peppermint oil rubbed on the stomach or taken internally can calm indigestion, an upset stomach or other internal digestive commotion. A must-have when traveling!
36. Restore Vitality in the Mouth. When your breath is sharp and your mouth feels furry, peppermint oil with water (and lemon oil) creates a healthy, refreshing mouth rinse that leaves a lasting crisp, clean feeling.
37. It’s About Air Flow. When sinuses seem to be clogged, and throats swollen and scratchy, diffuse peppermint oil (or apply topically on the chest) for almost immediate relief and revitalizing air flow. Peppermint acts as an expectorant and may provide relief for colds, cough, sinusitis, asthma, and bronchitis.
38. Cool the Joints. When the ravages of time wreak havoc on your joints, leaving that hot and achy feeling, peppermint oil mixed with lavender oil cools like an ice bath, but you to stay warm and dry.
39. Feel Full, Faster. Satiety. It’s about feeling full, and not overeating. The aroma of peppermint oil has the ability to make you feel full, faster…especially if you breathe it in during a meal!
40. Cool Your Tootsies. If you’ve been on your feel all day or religiously wear hard soled shoes, just add peppermint oil to a cold water compress to cool your overworked, over heated tootsies.
41. Perk Up. The invigorating aroma of peppermint is a wonderful, non-stimulating way to perk up on long drives, in school, during late night homework or any other time you need to “burn the midnight oil.”
42. Energize Your Lather. Some shampoo and conditioner combos can make you want to go back to sleep. No energy. No pep. No fun. Not good. Add peppermint to your potions to stimulate the scalp, energize and wake up! The oil is an antiseptic in nature, and can also help remove dandruff and lice.
43. Allergies Beware. Peppermint oil has the ability to relax smooth muscles in the body — the same muscles that line our airways and become affected in allergy season. Peppermint oil (with lemon) should certainly be another arrow in your allergy treatment quiver!
44. Chase Away Tension Headaches. Got a mind numbing headache? A few drops of peppermint dabbed on your temples, neck and sinuses can quickly spring into action and chase that headache away!
45. Help Kids Get on the Ball.  The next time Junior is a little unresponsive to all that is going on with school and homework, try spritzing a little peppermint on his shirt before study time, placing drop on the tongue or under the nose for improved concentration and alertness.
46. Seep, Soak & Revitalize. After a long day, apply peppermint, let it seep in and then soak in a warm bath or shower. The refreshing peppermint vapor will make you feel cool, relaxed and energized again.
47. Add a Refreshing Kick to Your Tea.  Just one drop of peppermint oil can add life to any herbal tea (without having to add lots of sugar) while also aiding in normal digestion or to relieve heartburn.
48.A “Should I Work Out Today?” Antidote. You ask yourself this question. It’s OK. Using peppermint oil prior to exercise immediately awakens your senses and gets you in your right mind so you can crank.
49.  A Snack Vendor’s Nightmare. When you get that mid-morning craving, diffuse peppermint oil to reign in the urge to snack on junk food, or anything else that might appear before you.
Cooking & Food
50. Add Zip to All Things Chocolate. Enhance your chocolate in a gazillion ways: gourmet hot chocolate, mint brownie frosting, peppermint bark, peppermint patties, peppermint brownies, peppermint chocolate Bundt cake, red velvet cupcakes with white chocolate peppermint cream cheese, yum!
51. Brisk, Delightful Confections.  Peppermint chiffon cake, homemade candy canes, butter mints, peppermint ice cream, peppermint glaze over pastries and cookies, homemade peppermint patties.
52. Unforgettable Beverages. Peppermint water on ice, peppermint mocha, peppermint tea, peppermint hot chocolate, that’s right … it’s all delish.
Body & Mind
53. Wake Up Your Mind.  Peppermint oil activates the limbic function in your brain.  The limbic function helps control things like emotions and long-term memory and is related to olfactory structures in your nose.
54. An Itch Fix. If you have the after effects of a sunburn where skin is a little warm and itchy, apply a drop of peppermint oil (mixed with lavender) to cool, soothe and stop itching.
55. Theme Park Relief.  If you’ve got that “I my gosh, I can’t believe I just went on a spinning ride” feeling, four or five drops of peppermint rubbed on the stomach can calm smooth stomach muscles and help dispel discomfort.
56. Travel to the Arctic, Without Traveling. When you add a few drops of peppermint to your ice water, it not only improves the taste, but also leaves you with a feeling of cool, refreshing arctic wind in your airways!
57. Burrow No More. If you find a tick has decided to make your skin its home, just give that tick a nice bath of peppermint oil with a cotton swab. The tick will stop burrowing, remove its head and then he’s yours.
58. Don’t Make It Easy on the Critters. Many household bugs do not like peppermint oil — ants, aphids, beetles, plant lice, mice and cockroaches try to steer clear of peppermint. Just add to water in a spray bottle and spray where you think pests grace you with their presence!
59. Clean Naturally. Peppermint oil is a wonderful natural cleaning agent because it has antifungal and antibacterial properties. Spray on countertops and bathroom surfaces, scrub, and enjoy cleaner clean.
60. Sleep Like a Baby. If you find you are having a hard time sleeping, peppermint oil helps activate cold-sensitive receptors in the skin and mucosal tissues.  When used this way, it may help with insomnia.
61. Quell Apathy. When you’re with someone who feels gloomy or like they “just don’t care”, ask them to try peppermint oil (aromatically, topically, or internally) to stimulate their mental sharpness and focus.
62. It’s About a State of Mind. Someone’s mental outlook can be a game changer.  If they are shocked, stressed out or nervous, peppermint oil may help restore feelings of normalcy and balance.
63. Tame a Toothache. Peppermint oil can act as a concentrated natural pain killer and muscle relaxant, especially with painful gums, teething or recent dental work.
64. Alleviate Internal Strife. When used topically or internally, peppermint is a favorite for fresh relief from cramping, indigestion to diarrhea. Skip the antacids and go with peppermint oil!
65. For That “Marathon in Clogs” Feeling. When you feel like you’ve just run a marathon in clogs, and your feet are a hot mess of ouch, massage peppermint oil onto aching feet, joints, and strained muscles.
66. Leap from Lethargic.  Feeling lethargic or in a brain fog? Peppermint has been known to improve blood circulation and awareness, leaving you with an energized, awake feeling.
67. Go Eight-Leg Free. When you diffuse peppermint into the room, you’ll notice fewer spiders.  Why? They don’t like it.  It’s safe, contains no harsh chemicals or pesticides. It doesn’t kill the spiders, but forces them out.

LAVENDER

Home Use
68. Chase Away Stagnant Closet Air. You know that smell. Fabrics of all variety, shoes for every occasion, plus a dirty clothes bin and no fresh air can only equal one thing…you need lavender essential oil.  Whether diffused, drizzled on earthen ware, or dripped on cotton balls, chase stagnancy away!
69. Take the Bite Out of It. Insects, creepies and crawlies are not too fond of the smell of lavender. In fact, they hate it. If you forget to go the prevention route, lavender soothes bites, itching and inflammation.
70. A Multi-Purpose Spray. Next time you sitting in traffic, pull out a spray bottle filled with a lavender and water mixture and freshen your car. Who wouldn’t prefer a car smelling like lavender?
71. Kids Won’t Go Down? Lavender drops on their pillows … it’s like magic. It will help ease their mind, calm them down, make bedtime a bit more rewarding, and best of all … lull them into a restful sleep.
72. Skip the Aerosol Chemical Sprays. Next time you are deodorizing the bathroom, think of lavender and water in a spray bottle. Lavender’s antibacterial, antibiotic, antiviral, antiseptic properties can only help.
73. Take the Acrid Out of Vinegar. If you clean with vinegar, but can barely stay vertical while using it, lavender is the answer. Just add lavender and vinegar together in the spray bottle and you’re set!
74. Therapeutic Dish or Laundry Soap. If your liquid soap smells a bit flat, you can add lavender for additional aromatherapy benefits and antibacterial properties. It transforms your cleaning experience!
75. Lovable Linens. What does your linen closet smell like? Probably cotton. Maybe old cotton. Energize your linens with lovely smelling lavender.  It leaves no oil marks and leaves things invigoratingly fresh.
76.Lavender candles. Ahhh the long lost art of candle making. If you’ve ever made candles you know how fun it can be. When you add lavender, the smell that is released is intensely therapeutic!
77. Wood Floors, Like New. A tired wood floor is, well … tired. Commercial floor polishes often contain harsh chemicals. Woods love oil.  Just add lavender to your cleaning system and your floor can look like new!
78. Help That Trusty Ball Cap. A well-worn, much loved ball cap can look great, but smell like a wild animal. Add 4-5 drops of lavender to make it bearable. It will be your favorite hat if you have a headache too!
79. Change Your Sheets, Refresh Your Mattress. Unfortunately, your mattress can be neglected, and have that “wires, foam and fabric” smell. Add lavender when you change your sheets and neglect no more!
80. Homemade Room Freshener. Put baking soda and a 5-6 drops of lavender oil in a small Mason jar. Punch holes in the lid. Place in smelly areas (near garbage can, dirty clothes), shake jar often. Smile.
81. Pet Smells No More. Add a skiff or two of your baking soda and lavender mixture to carpets and vacuum up!  If you have pets, (especially the un potty trained variety), fight back with lavender!
82. Extra Potpourri Mileage. If you have a pot of potpourri that has seen its day, try refreshing it with a few drops of lavender essential oil.  You’ll love the way lavender can change the feel of your home!
83. Sweet Smelling Vacuum Bags. Your vacuum can be your nemesis when it comes to keeping your home smelling clean.  As you well know, it can even blow microfine dirt! Pin some cotton balls (soaked in lemon and lavender oils) on the inside of the bag and let your vacuum blow!
Cooking and Food 84.Soften Citrus Flavors. Use in delicate lemon sauces for chicken or fish or in powerful orange marmalades, citrus salads, real lemonade and more!
85. Amazing Marinades and BBQ. Baste chicken or fish on the grill with honey or a garlic and rosemary blend, spread over roasted vegetables, marinade chicken pieces in honey and lavender, yum!
86. Bake Like the Best. Lavender is a nice addition to lavender blueberry banana bread, lemon lavender cookies, baked salmon, lavender sugar cookies, lavender muffins, lavender cakes, oh yeah!
87. Give Your Sugars a Delightful Twist.  Use as a substitute for vanilla extract (in creams, custards and sugars), use it in lavender icing, add to honey for extra flavor in tea or toast, and even maple syrup!
Body and Mind
88.   The Oatmeal Secret.  Fill a baby food jar with oatmeal, and add 5-8 drops of lavender oil.  When it’s time to wash your face, add water and it becomes an excellent natural scrub! A little goes a long way.
89. Minor Burns, Major Relief. When you’ve slightly overdone it in the sun, a little lavender oil is helpful in preventing peeling skin. It aids in your skin’s healing without scarring as well!
90. Boo Boo Relief. Lavender has disinfecting properties. It’s great for the skin, and wonderful for relief from cuts and scrapes, especially if the cut or scrape is located wherever it’s difficult to keep covered.
91. Alleviate Feelings of Earaches.  You can warm lavender (don’t scald it), mix with olive oil and gently massage around the ears (not in the ears) and near glands in the throat.
92. A Dry Climate Answer. If you suffer from dry, itchy skin, and don’t want to mess around with chemical smelling lotions, add lavender to fractionated coconut oil and comfort will be yours!
93. Horrific Heels & Foot Fatigue. If you’ve been wearing sandals all summer, and your heels look like the Atacama Desert, 6 drops of lavender in a hot foot bath is the answer. Your porous feet will thank you.
94. Neck & Wing Relief. When you have neck and scapula tension, apply lavender with fractionated coconut oil, breathe it in and massage those knots out!
95. A Hood of Wonder. Next time you have a cold or the flu, remember the lavender steam hood. Add 4-6 drops to a bowl of hot water. Place a towel over your head, and inhale the vapor slowly and deeply.
96. A Woodworker’s Friend.  Do you work with wood or handle wood?Rather than dig a hole in your finger trying to catch that splinter, add a few drops of lavender, let the splinter swell and slip out.
97. Allergies, Sinuses & Congestion Oh My!  Lavender can calm down unruly sinus issues, defiant allergies and other respiratory issues. Just apply on the back of your neck, chest, and between your eyes.
98. Fortify Your First-Aid Kit.  There are many dōTERRA products that would be tres glam additions to your First-Aid kit, but if you could only pick one, lavender should be it.  Why? Basic First-Aid kits are often geared toward minor skin irritation, scrapes, rashes, and so forth.  Lavender is great for all those, not to mention its calming properties!
99. Rub a Dub Dub. Rather than using regular soap and warm water at baby’s bath time, add about five drops of lavender oil to the warm water.  Your tot’s skin will be pampered and smell great!
100. Soak Away Stress. Your muscles are tight. Anxiety and deadlines are eating at you. Your heart is racing. Where’s the pressure release valve?  Right here, with lavender. Add to a warm bath, soak it in, soothe.
101. Let Vapor Talk. Wet your hair in the shower. Add 4 drops of lavender to a handful of water and work it into your hands and hair.Tilt your head down, under the water and capture the aroma instilled vapor as it melts off your hands and hair. You’ll love how it smells, and how your hair feels!
Bonus Tip!
Target Acne, at the Source.Bacteria thrive in sebaceous glands that over produce sebum…that waxy stuff that can be associated with acne. Lavender helps balance sebum and control break outs.

What has life taught you so far?

Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.



12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come...

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

We all need eachother.

Yeah, I think that I'm the happiest when I admit and accept that I need others in my life. And it is a pleasure and a privilege when I can be of help to others.

In fact, I've been reading this cool book about ways to 'win' with people and the author shares a whole chapter on making others feel needed. He writes that we should let other people know we need them. "Leaders can become great only when they realize that they are the ones who need people" and "asking others for help is a great way to make them feel like a million bucks" aka making others feel needed in your life is a wonderful way to add value to them.


Question for you: "Every individual's fate is tied to that of many others." Do you agree? Why, or why not?

Saying "NO" to your kids...

This post was taken entirely from http://sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/saying-no-to-your-kids-with-confidence-2/

 

Saying "NO" to your kids with confidence !

Saying "NO" with confidence

Saying “No” to your kids is such a simple word but so many parents find it difficult to incorporate it into their discipline strategies – it’s about feeling confident in your own ability as a parent so then the ability to say “no” becomes a powerful behaviour shaping tool in your parenting toolkit!
Parents often find it hard to say “No” to their kids and there are many reasons for this.
One of the reasons is shortage of time. We all seem to be in such a hurry these days. It’s so much easier to give in and buy whatever it is your child wants, rather than to spend time explaining why you won’t buy it or spend time dealing with their sulks when they don’t get it.
But is that the message you want your child to grow up expecting?
Another reason is being afraid of causing a scene. I know it’s easier, to wander around the supermarket with a happy and quiet child who is tucking into their sweets or crisps, rather than dragging a screaming child round while you attempt to do your shopping! But personally I think you can make looking for Postman Pat spaghetti hoops quite exciting, and getting your child involved in helping you look for the butter or helping you to weigh the grapes can be good practical experience and fun! It’s how you approach it.
Try making the whole experience a game and see how creative you can be – get your child to join in not whine – get them engaged.
Another reason is all the resources available to us nowadays .When your child asks for a treat you may think “Well it’s only 80p so it won’t break the bank” and I know we do seem to have more disposable cash splashing about today than perhaps when we were growing up, and many parents don’t think twice about spending it all on their children, but is that a good message to be sending out to your children?
 What message are you giving if you continually ‘give in’?   
You can have anything you want?
My job is not to judge what you do but to get you be clear about what you want and how you want to bring up your children.
Perhaps the approach of giving in to everything is easier in the short term but is it easier in the long term? Is it  creating a child who will have totally unrealistic expectations of you and the world – and will they will expect to get everything they want. Is that realistic or desirable? Is it creating a Paris Hilton?
You can be sure that their requests will get bigger and more expensive as they become aware of all the goodies out there. It’s sweets today, Nike trainers and Gucci purses next!! Tell me about it …. I’ve got a 15 year old daughter!!!!
While you may enjoy indulging your child’s wishes, the world just isn’t like that and your child may be in for a rude awakening when they encounter the many situations in the real world where they actually can’t have what they want. I think it helps if you think of it as your job to preparing them for life with its ups and downs and disappointments.
I just wonder if another message you are sending out is that “It really doesn’t matter how you treat your things – you can always get more”
Children who constantly get new toys and treats too easily learn not to value their things, because they know that they will always be replaced. They lose their sense of awe and wonder for new things if they are continually showered with gifts. It all comes too easily. So their expectations become inflated and they have no sense of gratitude or value for any of the gifts or treats they receive.
I remember my own Mum getting cross with my kids at Christmas a few years ago, as they were so overwhelmed by the amount of presents they received from both sets of Grandparents that they became nonchalant and blasé and she felt they didn’t appreciate what they had and just ripped the paper off, moving too quickly onto the next present.
Perhaps the message your child receives is “I can’t give you much time but I can give you lots of ‘things”
If this is the message your child is receiving don’t be surprised if they don’t place any value on these things or show any gratitude at getting all this stuff. ‘Things’ just cannot replace your time. If children do not get the attention and input from you, among other things, they do not develop a sense of their worth. They may feel they are not worth spending time with.
So you might be showering your child with gifts, but actually their self esteem might be diminishing as their stack of toys and “stuff”  piles up. Now there’s a thought!!!
Let’s look at treats and the message we sometimes send out with those….
“If you get upset, don’t worry we’ll get you a little treat”
The child who always receives a treat when they start to cry and shout or get hurt is learning a dangerous lesson. Other children and the outside world will not be as generous as you.
So just ask yourself….
How will my child cope as an adult in a world where they most definitely won’t always get their way?
It’s all a balance between “yes” and “no,” and it takes practise if you are new to saying “No” and taking a harder line.
So start practising saying “no” to requests for things like sweets, toys and treats from time to time so you keep them for special occasions when your child will value them much more.
Initially it may be difficult as your toddler or teen may have trouble believing that you really mean” no,” because in the past this wasn’t the case. They will probably throw a wobbly, but remember the bigger picture to your parenting – the values you want to teach them and hold on – think about the consequences of giving in.
Distract, explain, smile or move on to something else, but stand firm.
Your child is learning that when you say “no,” you mean it and you are teaching them a valuable and important lesson for life.
Positive Parent -Confident Kid Tip
Just step back and reflect on this each time you interact with your children: “Is this teaching my child something I believe to be important?”

Kids like to test us – kids like to see if we really mean what we say – they want to feel secure so boundaries create safety, they want our attention so “negative attention” is better than nothing – but overall boundaries help kids
 • Know how far they can go
• Knowing their boundaries helps kids feel safe
• Boundaries help teach children respect for you, other people and property
• Boundaries teach kids self control
• Boundaries teach them to be responsible adults in the long term
There are lots of reasons why you perhaps find saying “no” difficult  perhaps you’re too tired, too busy, feel guilty for some reason , or don’t get backed up by your partner, or were too strict parenting yourself by your own parents, or you have a need to be liked by your kids, or it’s all too much hassle or you may even be confused about what is acceptable  but I think it helps to know what loving discipline is and what it’s not!
Setting boundaries for your child is all about: 
• Training your child’s character not punishing them
• It’s about you being their parents and needing to be a leader and their guide more than their friend
• It’s about consistency and following through to earn respect long term
• And of course It’s about the age and maturity of your individual child
What it’s not!
• Being inconsistent – saying one thing one day and not the next
• Dominating or controlling
• Yelling. Threatening. Criticising
• Violence

Allow

My husband sent me this email today:
Faith is one of the keys to living a life filled with peace and joy.
Being connected spiritually will help you to have faith, which is
believing in that which is unseen.

The Bible states “ask and you will receive.” Abraham-Hicks teachings
point out a middle but very important step in this process:

1. Ask,
2. Allow, and
3. Receive.

Allow means: have a little patience in life for goodness sakes! If you
plant a seed and go digging it up, you are messing up the allowing
step. A seed needs to be nurtured and cared for before it’ll break
through the ground and start to grow. There is a gestation period for
all dreams. Some refer to this as the Law of Gestation, which is
saying allow things to come into being.

This is the key to faith. It really is having trust and patience that
the outcome you desire will come to pass. Faith gives you what you
need while you wait for the seeds of your dreams to break through.

So many times I ask... ask... ask... and get disappointed and sad because I don't see an immediate answer. I look around and notice how so many people have this or that (which I don't have) and I want it. I forget that these people very likely had to ask, work for it, allow, and later received it.
Lesson for Sofia - Life is not about immediate gratification, instant success, spontaneous results. 

Lessons I learn from my Baby

Today I was trying to get some things done (I'm always busy with little projects, goals, etc) and I noticed that my 7 month old baby boy - Lucas- wanted me hold him.
I picked him up and held him on my lap while recording a youtube video and he was the most perfect, adorable, easy going baby I could have asked for. After that I started thinking about some of the things that Lucas has taught me (and I must say, my 2 other children have taught me and keep teaching me many things as well):

1. be patient = Lucas is so patient with my imperfections as a mother. He is also so patient with his siblings who sometimes get too physical, or too loud around him. I've been told that I'm very patient, yet I know that there's plenty of room for improvement... I want to be particularly patient with others when their agenda is not the same as mine.
2. be forgiving = Lucas forgives me so easily. Sometimes he's hungry and I'm not as quick to feed him as he would probably like, so he starts crying : ( but the moment that I start feeding him he gives me a huge smile indicating that he forgives me and that he is...OK. I have had my feelings hurt, been disappointed and wronged by others and I definitely want to be quicker at forgiving and forgetting, and moving on.
3. be thankful = I can tell that Lucas is thankful and appreciates the time I spend with him, the meals I prepare for him, the tickles and kisses I give him. He likes to give me 'mouth open, slobbery kisses' as a thank you! I always remind my children to say: thank you... I have a thankful heart but I know I could be more 'vocal' about my gratitude with everyone around me.
4. be loving = this little boy shares his love with everyone he sees. He does it with no restraint, and with no assumptions of getting love back. Unconditional love is now a new goal for me.
5. be happy and positive = My mom told me once that teething is so painful that if we were to go through it as adults we would go insane (I wonder if we deliberately erase from our memory what we went through as babies to get teeth in our mouth?!). Lucas is always so happy despite teething, croup, runny noses, sitting with a poopy diaper, not being able to express himself, not being able to move from one spot to the other, etc (there seem to be so many reasons why Lucas could be grumpy or sad, YET I know that he CHOOSES to be happy). I can be better at making the decision to be happy - despite the circumstances around me. I know happiness is a choice, it's my choice.
6. be accepting and trusting = it seems to me that Lucas accepts life the way it is. He is relaxed, and even when things aren't going well (and he cries) Lucas just waits for things to get better, as if he knows and trusts in the ones around him, in life, and in God to make things right again. For me, trusting in God has everything to do with Faith. I will trust life more. I will trust that I am loved, I am safe and that sometimes life just has to run its course.

My dear Littlest Angel (Lucas) - I want to be more like you. Thank you for being in my life and for the lessons you teach me. You are so very loved.
Hugs,
your Mama

What If money didn't matter?.. - Alan Watts