self-sabotage - WHY do I do it???

taken directly from http://breakfreefromselfsabotage.com/01articles/how-to-know-when-you-are-sabotaging-your-own-success.htm

40 Powerful Ways to Self Sabotage Your Success

Before we begin our journey through the 40 powerful ways you can self-sabotage your own success, let's take a moment to define "self-sabotage".

Self-sabotage is most recognizable by the experience of an internal "tug-of-war" between having a desire to do something and feeling like you can't or shouldn't do it.

Any time you hear yourself say, "I want to do this, but I can't (or I shouldn't)!" this is the inner conflict of self-sabotage.

Self sabotage is when there is no logical or rational explanation for why you can't do the things you want to do or why you can't have the things you want to have. If there is anything you really want to do or have, but are unable to bring it into your life--and there is no logical, rational, or otherwise, "real" reason why you can't do and/or have it--you are experiencing self-sabotage!

It's not a lack of desire, skills, knowledge or effort that holds you back. Rather, there's something inside you that's stronger than your desire and it blocks your efforts to do the things you want to do and have the things you want to have.

Self-sabotage can show up in many different ways and on many different levels of severity. For example, if you really want to develop an Internet business, but the moment you sit down to start working on it, you start distracting yourself with all the other things you "should" do instead... this is the internal conflict of self-sabotage.

Or for example, you really want to hire additional people into your business, but keep putting it off for fear of not hiring the right people to get the job done... this is the struggle of self-sabotage.

Or for example, you really want to conduct more sales and/or marketing activities but find yourself doing all sorts of “other” things to distract yourself from ever getting to these activities... this too is self sabotage.

While it may seem difficult, you can break free from your self sabotaging barriers. The first and most important step is to recognize your specific self sabotage behaviors and barriers. Once you have accepted full responsibility for your self sabotage behaviors and barriers you can begin the process of breaking free from their strong-hold on you. 

To follow is a list of the 40 most powerful ways in which people sabotage their own efforts to create the success they desire. Use this as a checklist to begin taking an honest look at your own behaviors.

You are experiencing self-sabotage behavior if... 

1. You start projects designed to create your success, make some progress, then lose interest and don't finish them.
2. You procrastinate doing the tasks that will actually produce the success you desire. (Procrastination is the poster-child of self-sabotage behavior!)
3. You worry too much about what others will think of you if you confidently promote yourself, your products and/or your business.
4. As soon as an idea begins to produce revenue you begin distracting yourself away from this idea and on to new "even better" ideas.
5. You work diligently to create a business plan and/or strategy for developing your idea into something profitable - so you know exactly what important things need to be done (setting up a website, developing e-products, building a marketing list, networking, etc.) - but you constantly do other things instead of these important things.
6. You tell yourself that your “excuses” for not doing the important activities are real “reasons”.
7. You let yourself get discouraged by how hard it is to make money in today's economy.
8. You let yourself get overwhelmed by the massive money-making opportunities that all promise “riches beyond belief”.
9. You let yourself get overwhelmed by the massive marketing and prospecting opportunities that all promise “results beyond belief”.
10. You try a few things that don't work very well and let disappointment and discouragement stop you from persisting onward.
11. You pigeon-hole yourself into one or two “safe” money-making behaviors that limit your revenue and income.
12. Despite the fact that you know your topic inside and out, you are uncomfortable marketing yourself as an “expert” in your field.
13. You don't focus on any subject or product long enough to actually be an expert, which significantly decreases your self confidence.
14. You try to implement too many ideas at one time which only serves to diminish the focus of your work.
15. You spend all of your time, money and energy trying to learn how to be successful and never actually get around to doing the things that will create your success.
16. You don't set specific goals for guiding your success-making efforts and decisions.
17. You can’t get yourself to stick to realistic long-term money strategies that will guide your spending decisions.
18. You set your goals as things you “don't want” (debt, struggle) that cause you to focus on the negative instead of what you actually “do want”.
19. You won't delegate.
20. You set your goals based on what you think other people want you to do.
21. You have secret fears about people criticizing you for making and having an abundance of financial success.
22. You have secret fears that being successful will make other people not like you.
23. You are afraid that if you try to create success and fail people will criticize you.
24. You are all talk and no action.
25. You make the same poor money decisions over and over and over again.
26. You are addicted to struggle.
27. You do things to create debt and other negative consequences.
28. You have come to believe that you cannot make money doing what you really want to do.
29. You’ve been knocked down enough times that it is becoming harder and harder to get back up and try again.
30. You have a product or service that you want to sell but tell yourself that no one will think it is worth paying for.
31. You constantly devalue yourself and your talents by “giving away” your services.
32. You acquire a large sum of money and sabotage your way to losing all of it.
33. You have inner programming that tells you that making and having lots of money is sinful or otherwise bad.
34. Deep down you have this nagging feeling that you really aren't worthy of the success you seek so you have trouble motivating yourself to really give it your very best effort.
35. You have sooo many great ideas that it seems impossible to pick one and get started.
36. You make compulsive decisions that jeopardize your financial stability. 
37. You know you have the potential to do more with your life, but are afraid of failure (or success).
38. You wish you could procrastinate less and accomplish more.
39. You constantly avoid completing the important things on your to-do list.
40. You have to force yourself to stay committed to your goals.

 

You want to feel like this…

 

 

 

 

However, most of the time you actually feel like this…

 

Everyone has self-sabotage barriers and behaviors!

Self-sabotage happens to people of all ages, professions, financial and social status! Few people are exempt from this frustrating fact of life!

However, authentically successful people will do whatever they need to do to break free from their self sabotaging barriers and behaviors so they can easily and naturally move toward the successful accomplishment of their goals.

Consider this: A person making $100,000 per year has very different internal thought-processes and beliefs about money than someone who makes $20,000 per year.

If you are experiencing self-sabotage barriers and behaviors, it is because you have internal thought-processes and beliefs that are out of alignment with your desired goals.

Look at what you are currently creating in your life. This is what your internal thought-processes and beliefs are currently in alignment with creating. Successful people are in alignment with focusing on doing the work to create success, while frustrated "want-to-be" people are in alignment with focusing on the challenges and problems that repel success.

You must put yourself into genuine and authentic alignment with the mindset of the person you want to be! Only then will you allow your success to come into your life.

Every single person on this planet has the potential to be abundantly successful! If you want to be counted among the abundantly successful people of this world you must break free from your own internal need for the challenges, problems and barriers that are sabotaging your success.

The most effective way to successfully break free from your self sabotaging barriers and behaviors is to...

1) Uncover your hidden, unhealthy thought-processes and beliefs that are out of alignment with your goals (often referred to as the "ah-ha moment") and

2) Replace them with thought-processes and beliefs that support your desires and compel you toward the successful accomplishment of your goals.

Unfortunately, many people stop after step 1 when they have uncovered the source of their self sabotage and had their "ah-ha moment".

Some people only work on step 2.  They will spend hours and hours and hours feeding their brain with positive affirmations and other means to try to "override" their self sabotaging thought processes and beliefs without first uncovering its source.

In order to create long-term, lasting change that puts you into genuine and authentic alignment with easily and naturally moving toward your desired success you must do both steps 1 and 2! You must uncover and identify the old ineffective thought-processes and beliefs and then install new, more effective thought-processes that show your brain how to easily get you safely to your desired success.

Note: If your brain already knew how to get you what you want in a more effective manner it would have done it already. When your brain is lacking the internal thought-processes for moving you toward your goal - it is your job to install a new more effective thought-process. Did you grow up in an environment filled with people who were successfully doing what you want to do? If not, you probably do not have effective thought-processes already installed in your brain.

Once you are in genuine alignment with your goals and desires, you will find yourself being naturally and easily compelled toward the accomplishment of your desired success from an abundance of new internal forces. Your mind, body and soul will come together to naturally and easily move you toward the accomplishment of your goals!

To learn more about and easy to follow, step-by-step process for uncovering your old unhealthy beliefs that are currently creating self sabotage and then installing new, more effective thought-processes and beliefs designed to compel you toward your success, please visit us at www.SelfSabotageBehavior.com.

I hope this guide has helped you to become more aware of the powerful ways in which you may be sabotaging your own efforts to live the successful and abundant life you are working to create.

My hope is that my work will help you move toward living the happy and prosperous life you dream of living!

Sincerely,

        

Read more: http://breakfreefromselfsabotage.com/01articles/how-to-know-when-you-are-sabotaging-your-own-success.htm#ixzz2USvWQuLB

I have no willpower...

So, I have no willpower. I start things (I'm talking about goals here), then find really good, solid excuses to make an exception, or brake that one rule I said I wouldn't brake. And then... well, then it all goes down hill...
I remembered reading something one (a long time ago) about why doing something 100% was better and ACTUALLY EASIER than doing it 89% or 95%. At that time I read that I remember that I actually ate all raw food (fruits, vegetables, nuts) for 8 consecutive days AND it wasn't hard. I decided to do it 100% and it somehow it wasn't hard. If something wasn't a fruit, vegetable or nut adulterated/changed by heat/cooking it then I wouldn't eat it.
Now, every time that I try to eat mostly raw, or raw until dinner I always end up messing it up big time (or so I feel). I eat very healthy breakfasts, lunches, and snacks, and then, when dinner time comes and I can eat cooked food I eat a whole whale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I eat everything I can get my hands on that is not healthy!?!?!?!?!?!??! Why do I do that??????
Now - my problem is not eating cooked food. Cooked food isn't bad...My problem is that I end up reversing all the good eating that I had done up to dinner time.
So I did a little research and loved reading the quote and article below:

"it’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time. If you give in to “just this once,” based on a marginal cost analysis, as some of my former classmates have done, you’ll regret where you end up. You’ve got to define for yourself what you stand for and draw the line in a safe place."

Clayton Christensen

100% is easier than 99%: Why Moderation Doesn’t Work

by Aaron

Forget moderation.
I tried it for many years. It’s never worked for me. It’s just too hard.

Photo by Marcel Germain

Looking back at the times I have done something that has boosted me forward in life, there was nothing moderate about it. I stopped going out completely for two months before my LSAT. Gave up sugar, alcohol, and fast food for a month. Swore off of news, politics, and following the stock market. Ran twelve miles over terrain and obstacles in near freezing temperatures. Jumped off a bridge.
Whenever I jumped into something 100%, friends would tell me that they could never do something like that. They’d tell me that I must have incredible willpower to have pulled something like that off.
I usually nod and accept the compliment.
But today I’m admitting my dirty secret: I have no willpower.
A stronger person could balance studying with an active social life to get ready for an exam. Not me.
Someone with willpower would never have to give up sugar, alcohol and fast food for a month. They just eat healthy all the time.
A strong-willed person doesn’t have to continually schedule Tough Mudders and other races to force himself to stay in shape. People with willpower just do it. I have to do something crazy.
True, moderation is a nice goal. If you can do it.
For me, if I have sugar or fast food once, I crave more sugar and fast food the next day. It’s just easier for me to stay away for long periods.
If I stop working out for a week, it’s near impossible to get back in the gym. As soon as I break the cycle, it’s like starting all over.
This is why people in Alcoholics Anonymous vow to have no drinks. Not because moderation isn’t a worthy goal. It’s because moderation is almost impossible for those who don’t have ridiculous willpower. If you had ridiculous willpower, you wouldn’t need the plan to quit drinking in the first place.
Weight Watchers works the same way. You get a certain number of “points” that you can have. Yes, there is flexibility in how you space out the use of those points, but you stick to a dummy-proof plan, 100% of the time.
What the folks at Alcoholic Anonymous and Weight Watchers have figured out is that 100% is easier than 99%.
When you take a day off, it’s a huge challenge to get started the next day.

Creating a habit is like pushing a car; it’s getting started that’s hard. Once you’ve got momentum, it’s easier. But as soon as you take a break, the car stops, and you need a big boost of motivation to get it moving again.
Here’s the thing: motivation doesn’t come in a long steady stream. It comes in waves.
If you stop pushing the car when your motivation is low, it stops for good. You end the diet. You quit working out. You never finish writing the book.
For those of us without willpower, we have to use the power of a wave of motivation to get us started and then ride that momentum through the low times. The way to do this is to commit to doing something 100% of the time.
100% means there’s no guesswork.
We don’t have to guess when it’s OK to eat cheesecake, or have a few drinks, or skip a workout. There’s no getting back to it tomorrow. There’s no debate about letting things slide “just this once.” We choose 100%, not 99%.
I’m not suggesting you permanently give up sugar or go running every day for the rest of your life. You can commit to doing something for a month. But when you choose to do something, commit to doing it 100%.
People will think you’re crazy for going all out and doing something 100%. Because most people don’t do anything 100%, and it makes them feel like a slacker.
Friends will even try to dissuade you from going 100%. “Do everything in moderation,” they’ll say. My answer from now on: “Moderation is nice for those with the willpower to do it.”
Is there an area where you want to make progress but just can’t get it to stick? Try giving it 100% for 30 days. Give up sugar. Stop checking the news. Write every day. Get off Facebook. Exercise every morning. Go without alcohol. Wake up early every day.
Forget moderation. Give 100%.