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Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
just when you think all is well...
The day started well, I said a prayer with Jay before he left for school, I read a lot from "The worth of a soul" (which, by the way, is an incredible book that I would recommend reading). I said a long, heartfelt prayer where I asked Father to help me have the Spirit during the day and to help me specifically with motherhood - a part of my life where many times I feel like I lack talent... Things were going OK, and then, in a split second I lost it and yelled at my children - making them cry.
Is it Satan? Is he trying to ruin my day that had such a nice beginning?
Well, I better do something about it and not let him carry on with his plans.
It's a good thing that kids are so forgiving, they are already playing with each other and giggling (oh the innocence and joy of childhood). I'm going to take them to the park. This day can still be a great day : )
Is it Satan? Is he trying to ruin my day that had such a nice beginning?
Well, I better do something about it and not let him carry on with his plans.
It's a good thing that kids are so forgiving, they are already playing with each other and giggling (oh the innocence and joy of childhood). I'm going to take them to the park. This day can still be a great day : )
Friday, February 18, 2011
feeling a little blue
Hey, I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this today... but, yeah, it's one of those days...
actually, instead of blogging I'm gonna read my scriptures for a little bit : ) I think that will help me : )
actually, instead of blogging I'm gonna read my scriptures for a little bit : ) I think that will help me : )
Friday, February 4, 2011
my day
My experience with eating mostly raw foods is going well. I have been craving cooked food. Nothing unhealthy, just stuff like rice, or something else heated. It's cold and no matter how much fruit I have in my kitchen I still feel like eating worm things, not cold vegetables. I've been making sure that my breakfast is something healthy (today it was the juice of 3 small oranges, 3 celery stems and one cucumber - all organic). But then for lunch I had rice. I feel like Heavenly Father is pleased with my diet. He knows that I want to be healthy, and that I desire the energy to play with my children and to exercise.
I've been watching some mormon messages (short videos on the net) and I've been uplifted by them.
I also did what Barbara asked me to do - study the BM first thing in the day. This is good. I read 2 Nephi 4 and felt the Spirit teaching me. I love my Father in Heaven and His Son - Jesus Christ.
I've been watching some mormon messages (short videos on the net) and I've been uplifted by them.
I also did what Barbara asked me to do - study the BM first thing in the day. This is good. I read 2 Nephi 4 and felt the Spirit teaching me. I love my Father in Heaven and His Son - Jesus Christ.
Getting rid of pride and guilt as a parent
I read this article in the deseret news online (http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19600/Getting-rid-of-pride-and-guilt?s_cid=newsline )
We were visiting a little ward in rural Idaho, and the Sunday School lesson happened to be on parenting. We sat quietly and anonymously and listened.
There was another visitor there, kind of a sophisticated city slicker who seemed to have all the answers. He also seemed to have perfect kids because he prefaced each comment he made with something like, "Well, the way I communicate with my son, the student body president ..." or "The way I handled that with my daughter, the valedictorian ..."
If it had just been a couple of times, it would have been fine, but about the sixth time he gave his perfect, pat answer about his perfect kids, you could almost hear the groans about this self-righteous guy who seemed to have no problems.
Then, just after the first bell, a small, quiet-voiced farmer raised his hand, got called on, stood up and turned to face the big bragger. "Excuse me," he said with a high-pitched country twang, "but God must notta thought much of you as a parent, sendin' ya all them easy kids."
There were some soft giggles from every direction and an almost audible murmur of agreement among the class members. We gave each other's hand a little squeeze and both mumbled, "Amen!" No offense was taken, but we all knew exactly what that good man was saying.
Knowing what we know about our children's pre-existence, about the eternity they have already spent becoming who they are, we had better not take too much credit for who they are. As LDS parents, most of us recognize that we have much less to do with who our kids are than their own growth and development over their past parts of eternity. So we had better not feel too much pride for their gifts and goodness.
And for the same reason, we had better not feel too much guilt for their imperfections and problems.
Because that courageous little farmer could have also said, in another situation to another parent, "God musta thought quite a bit of you as a parent, sendin' ya that difficult kid."
When we see other parents struggling with serious behavioral problems, instead of judging them as poor parents, perhaps we should respect them for how hard they are trying and for the fact that they were selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges.
Part of eternal perspective parenting — and a big part of looking for spiritual solutions — is remembering and understanding that we didn't create our children; that they come as who they are from a Father who entrusts us with stewardship for them. We do our best to help our children grow and develop in ways that are uniquely right for them, and we seek God's help.
Thus, we try not to judge other parents or ourselves. We replace pride with gratitude when a child does something well or shows promise in some way, and we replace guilt with perspective and added love when a child falls short or makes a mistake.
We were visiting a little ward in rural Idaho, and the Sunday School lesson happened to be on parenting. We sat quietly and anonymously and listened.
There was another visitor there, kind of a sophisticated city slicker who seemed to have all the answers. He also seemed to have perfect kids because he prefaced each comment he made with something like, "Well, the way I communicate with my son, the student body president ..." or "The way I handled that with my daughter, the valedictorian ..."
If it had just been a couple of times, it would have been fine, but about the sixth time he gave his perfect, pat answer about his perfect kids, you could almost hear the groans about this self-righteous guy who seemed to have no problems.
Then, just after the first bell, a small, quiet-voiced farmer raised his hand, got called on, stood up and turned to face the big bragger. "Excuse me," he said with a high-pitched country twang, "but God must notta thought much of you as a parent, sendin' ya all them easy kids."
There were some soft giggles from every direction and an almost audible murmur of agreement among the class members. We gave each other's hand a little squeeze and both mumbled, "Amen!" No offense was taken, but we all knew exactly what that good man was saying.
Knowing what we know about our children's pre-existence, about the eternity they have already spent becoming who they are, we had better not take too much credit for who they are. As LDS parents, most of us recognize that we have much less to do with who our kids are than their own growth and development over their past parts of eternity. So we had better not feel too much pride for their gifts and goodness.
And for the same reason, we had better not feel too much guilt for their imperfections and problems.
Because that courageous little farmer could have also said, in another situation to another parent, "God musta thought quite a bit of you as a parent, sendin' ya that difficult kid."
When we see other parents struggling with serious behavioral problems, instead of judging them as poor parents, perhaps we should respect them for how hard they are trying and for the fact that they were selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges.
Part of eternal perspective parenting — and a big part of looking for spiritual solutions — is remembering and understanding that we didn't create our children; that they come as who they are from a Father who entrusts us with stewardship for them. We do our best to help our children grow and develop in ways that are uniquely right for them, and we seek God's help.
Thus, we try not to judge other parents or ourselves. We replace pride with gratitude when a child does something well or shows promise in some way, and we replace guilt with perspective and added love when a child falls short or makes a mistake.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Raw Food Diet Trial
Nice : )
So far so good. I decided to eat raw for 10 days, and after those 10 initial days to see how I am feeling and then decide whether to continue for another 20 days or not (making the trial be for possibly one month). Oh, I must point out that my goal is not to eat 100% raw. I want to eat everything during the day raw with the exception for dinner, when I want to have the choice to either eat raw or join my family in a cooked vegan dinner.
Yesterday went great. I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help me (especially with my addiction to sugar) and I can tell that I received help from on high. I felt great and slept very well at night (something rare for me, as I suffer from insomnia). So, what did I eat?
- green smoothie in the morning (banana, lots of spinach, orange and a little bit of pineapple juice)
- an orange for snack
- for lunch I ate 4 DELICIOUS raw tacos ( sprouted walnuts, a bit of red onion, green and black olives, cumin, cayenne pepper all ground up in a mini blender and then divided between 4 lettuce leafs)
- a handful of Gobi berries for snack
- a vegan cooked dinner (potatoes, carrots, corn, and tomatoes baked in the oven with a little olive oil, salt and herbs)
So yeah, I ate all of this, and had energy to workout (strenght training) and slept very well.
This morning I had my green smoothie for breakfast and did a boot camp exercise class.
So far I'm not craving any cooked food badly BUT this is only the beginning and I'm aware of that.
This evening I am teaching 2 Zumba classes (at Curves and at the East Valley Y) so I may need to eat more calories... we'll see.
Just a side note: my skin isn't looking very good. Hopefully this trial will help me detox and my skin will improve as a result.
So far so good. I decided to eat raw for 10 days, and after those 10 initial days to see how I am feeling and then decide whether to continue for another 20 days or not (making the trial be for possibly one month). Oh, I must point out that my goal is not to eat 100% raw. I want to eat everything during the day raw with the exception for dinner, when I want to have the choice to either eat raw or join my family in a cooked vegan dinner.
Yesterday went great. I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help me (especially with my addiction to sugar) and I can tell that I received help from on high. I felt great and slept very well at night (something rare for me, as I suffer from insomnia). So, what did I eat?
- green smoothie in the morning (banana, lots of spinach, orange and a little bit of pineapple juice)
- an orange for snack
- for lunch I ate 4 DELICIOUS raw tacos ( sprouted walnuts, a bit of red onion, green and black olives, cumin, cayenne pepper all ground up in a mini blender and then divided between 4 lettuce leafs)
- a handful of Gobi berries for snack
- a vegan cooked dinner (potatoes, carrots, corn, and tomatoes baked in the oven with a little olive oil, salt and herbs)
So yeah, I ate all of this, and had energy to workout (strenght training) and slept very well.
This morning I had my green smoothie for breakfast and did a boot camp exercise class.
So far I'm not craving any cooked food badly BUT this is only the beginning and I'm aware of that.
This evening I am teaching 2 Zumba classes (at Curves and at the East Valley Y) so I may need to eat more calories... we'll see.
Just a side note: my skin isn't looking very good. Hopefully this trial will help me detox and my skin will improve as a result.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
making a decision
OK, I usually don't follow through on certain things (e.g. quiting sugar, lemonade cleanse). But I want to try eating raw. I want to see what it does to my body. So, starting tomorrow, i will eat everything raw except for one meal (porbably the meal I eat with Jay). So my plan is to eat a raw breakfast (here are some ideas)
- apple, or banana, or orange
-vegetable juice
-green smoothie
Then for lunch, I will also eat something raw:
-salad
-nuts
-fruits
I have my dehidrated cookies and goji berries for snacks. And then for dinner I will eat something vegan (but probaly cooked) with Jay and the children. Sounds good. I will try this for 10 days. And I will write about it here : )
Sunday, today, was great. Heavenly Father helped me with my gospel doctrine class, and we got to go to our meeting in the evening.
- apple, or banana, or orange
-vegetable juice
-green smoothie
Then for lunch, I will also eat something raw:
-salad
-nuts
-fruits
I have my dehidrated cookies and goji berries for snacks. And then for dinner I will eat something vegan (but probaly cooked) with Jay and the children. Sounds good. I will try this for 10 days. And I will write about it here : )
Sunday, today, was great. Heavenly Father helped me with my gospel doctrine class, and we got to go to our meeting in the evening.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
just stuff
Today as i was driving I could smell the fumes from the cars on the road and i thought "I bet that in the Celestial Kingdom the air actually smells nice... probably a sweet smell, a smell of clean, pure, fresh air." I bet there is a smell in the air in the Celestial Kingdom. I want to live there. I want to be there with my Jayzinho - he is my best friend and I love him so much. We truly were meant to be together. I want to grow old with him, laugh with him, learn new things with him and simply be by his side for all eternity.
Jay is such a blessing in my life. He is such a wonderful husband. He's not perfect by any means, but he is SO GOOD. He is perfect for me.
When I left home (in Portugal) to come study in the States my biggest fear was that my parents would die without me being near them. Every single night, for more than one year, I begged in my prayers that Heavenly Father would not take away my parents from this earth. I would beg, cry and explain to Father that I would not be able to cope with the loss of my parents while I was away. Heavenly Father not once told me that He would not take away my parents from me. But what He did always repeat to my heart was: "If your parents leave this mortal experience, you will be prepared to handle it. If it happens it is because you are prepared and can deal with it." Well, my parents are still alive. And I am very grateful that I received the blessing of having my parents be present to see me go on a mission, come back from a mission, get married in the Temple, graduate with a Master's degree and have two children.
Now, my biggest fear is that I wont have Jay to grow old with. I don't want to loose him. I really don't want to go a day without seeing him and hugging him and telling him how much I love him. Jay is my night in shinning armor. He is soooo patient with me, and he helps me to not take life too serious.
Of course we have misunderstandings, or arguments at times.... : ) in fact, there is a time, every month, when I seem to get irritated or hurt by him more often... can you guess what time of the month that is? : ) yeah, the time my hormones go crazy!!!
Anyway, I hope Heavenly Father blesses me with the opportunity to keep growing and learning next to Jay. We want to serve a mission together later in life. I also want to take him to Africa, and I would love to visit China with him : )
Work is going well. I feel like I need to be more straight forward about my feelings and about what I like and don't like. There's a girl at work that likes to badmouth about other people, and I've caught her saying several lies. I don't feel comfortable when she approaches me to badmouth about other people, and I need to just be straight forward with her and tell her that I want to have nothing to do with conversations like that.
Ohh, Tiago is crying... he's quiet now... He is such a "sweet & sour" little boy : ) I love him SO much. He gives me the BEST hugs, cuddles with me like no one else, has the sweetest smile on hearth, and the cutest giggle (well... OK the cutest giggle actually belongs to Gabi) but then at times he is so stubborn, so irrational, and a little brutinho when he kicks at me or tries to slap me... he's an angel in my life.
I'm teaching Zumba at Curves and loving it. I'm also teaching at the Mesa Y and loving that class too. Exercising is definately helping me feel better. Since I went to counseling I've been better at taking time for myself and about finding something that I like doing. This helps me be a better mother and a better wife because this way I don't feel like I'm constantly sacrificing myself for my family and like there's nothing left at the end of the day for me. It's like I'm giving of the water in my well but making sure that I'm putting some water in as well. Before I used to just give and give all the water that I had in my well and then there was nothing, no more water, no energy, no nothing left for me. I thought that to be a good mother this was what I had to do. But there were all these resentments growing inside of me. Resentments for being a mother, for having children that need my help, for not having a career outside of the home, resentments for the fact that Jay gets to leave the house and spend his day with other grownups while I have to stay at home with the children, resentments of not being validated etc.
Jay is such a blessing in my life. He is such a wonderful husband. He's not perfect by any means, but he is SO GOOD. He is perfect for me.
When I left home (in Portugal) to come study in the States my biggest fear was that my parents would die without me being near them. Every single night, for more than one year, I begged in my prayers that Heavenly Father would not take away my parents from this earth. I would beg, cry and explain to Father that I would not be able to cope with the loss of my parents while I was away. Heavenly Father not once told me that He would not take away my parents from me. But what He did always repeat to my heart was: "If your parents leave this mortal experience, you will be prepared to handle it. If it happens it is because you are prepared and can deal with it." Well, my parents are still alive. And I am very grateful that I received the blessing of having my parents be present to see me go on a mission, come back from a mission, get married in the Temple, graduate with a Master's degree and have two children.
Now, my biggest fear is that I wont have Jay to grow old with. I don't want to loose him. I really don't want to go a day without seeing him and hugging him and telling him how much I love him. Jay is my night in shinning armor. He is soooo patient with me, and he helps me to not take life too serious.
Of course we have misunderstandings, or arguments at times.... : ) in fact, there is a time, every month, when I seem to get irritated or hurt by him more often... can you guess what time of the month that is? : ) yeah, the time my hormones go crazy!!!
Anyway, I hope Heavenly Father blesses me with the opportunity to keep growing and learning next to Jay. We want to serve a mission together later in life. I also want to take him to Africa, and I would love to visit China with him : )
Work is going well. I feel like I need to be more straight forward about my feelings and about what I like and don't like. There's a girl at work that likes to badmouth about other people, and I've caught her saying several lies. I don't feel comfortable when she approaches me to badmouth about other people, and I need to just be straight forward with her and tell her that I want to have nothing to do with conversations like that.
Ohh, Tiago is crying... he's quiet now... He is such a "sweet & sour" little boy : ) I love him SO much. He gives me the BEST hugs, cuddles with me like no one else, has the sweetest smile on hearth, and the cutest giggle (well... OK the cutest giggle actually belongs to Gabi) but then at times he is so stubborn, so irrational, and a little brutinho when he kicks at me or tries to slap me... he's an angel in my life.
I'm teaching Zumba at Curves and loving it. I'm also teaching at the Mesa Y and loving that class too. Exercising is definately helping me feel better. Since I went to counseling I've been better at taking time for myself and about finding something that I like doing. This helps me be a better mother and a better wife because this way I don't feel like I'm constantly sacrificing myself for my family and like there's nothing left at the end of the day for me. It's like I'm giving of the water in my well but making sure that I'm putting some water in as well. Before I used to just give and give all the water that I had in my well and then there was nothing, no more water, no energy, no nothing left for me. I thought that to be a good mother this was what I had to do. But there were all these resentments growing inside of me. Resentments for being a mother, for having children that need my help, for not having a career outside of the home, resentments for the fact that Jay gets to leave the house and spend his day with other grownups while I have to stay at home with the children, resentments of not being validated etc.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
temptations....
I feel like eating a candy bar, but I haven't eaten anything with sugar in a little while and I want to stay completely away from it... I know that with Heavenly Father's help I can overcome my addiction to sugar. One day at a time. With Him I can do it. I'm going to brush my teeth and study the scriptures.
I love my little children by the way.
Tiago likes to bite anything when he gets excited, angry, sad, etc : ) we have his teeth mark on our entertainment center!!!! For real, we do!
Gabi today wanted me to put lotion on her hands because they were dry and then told me to also put lotion on her arms so that they don't get hairy like Burke's arms (that's her grandfather)!!!! She cracks me up. The other day she told, "Mama, when I get bigger I will drive to the store to buy things." She is sooo funny.
My Zumba class at curves went really well today. The ladies are so sweet and they love me. I try to make it really fun and full of energy for them. I'm so glad I'm having this opportunity to teach Zumba there (plus they pay well).
Jay is at school right now, studying for a test. I love him. I hope Heavenly Father helps us to stay together for ever.
I love my little children by the way.
Tiago likes to bite anything when he gets excited, angry, sad, etc : ) we have his teeth mark on our entertainment center!!!! For real, we do!
Gabi today wanted me to put lotion on her hands because they were dry and then told me to also put lotion on her arms so that they don't get hairy like Burke's arms (that's her grandfather)!!!! She cracks me up. The other day she told, "Mama, when I get bigger I will drive to the store to buy things." She is sooo funny.
My Zumba class at curves went really well today. The ladies are so sweet and they love me. I try to make it really fun and full of energy for them. I'm so glad I'm having this opportunity to teach Zumba there (plus they pay well).
Jay is at school right now, studying for a test. I love him. I hope Heavenly Father helps us to stay together for ever.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Gabi's Birthday
Today was Gabi's Birthday. She is now 4 yo. She is such a blessing in my life and I love her so, so much. It was a wonderful day for all of us. I went to work at the Y and Gabi and Tiago played a lot with everyone else. Gabi had on a pink dress and looked adorable.
Then, at home she helped me make cup cakes, and decorate the house while we waited for her little friends to get here. When her friends arrived (there were 9 children total) they played in the backyard, I painted their nails, then we came inside and decorated cup cakes and ate them, after that we went to the park in our neighborhood and played on the slide and in the dirt, later we went back to the house to hit the pinata and get lots of candy. We then sang happy birthday to Gabi and to Lauren Passey who has the same birthday, and all the kids got a turn at blowing out the candles - this is a tradition that I hope to keep bc I know how it is, every little kid wants to blow candles whether it is her birthday or not. Max (Gabi's Prince) was here. He was the only boy. I love him and wouldn't mind a bit if Gabi stayed in touch with him all growing up and dated him and then married him : ) His parents are excellent too.
Gabi was very happy all day long, the kids all had fun and played well together, and now the children are in bed, the house is all cleaned up and I am very TIRED, but happy and thankful for all my blessings (Gabi being one of the main ones).
Then, at home she helped me make cup cakes, and decorate the house while we waited for her little friends to get here. When her friends arrived (there were 9 children total) they played in the backyard, I painted their nails, then we came inside and decorated cup cakes and ate them, after that we went to the park in our neighborhood and played on the slide and in the dirt, later we went back to the house to hit the pinata and get lots of candy. We then sang happy birthday to Gabi and to Lauren Passey who has the same birthday, and all the kids got a turn at blowing out the candles - this is a tradition that I hope to keep bc I know how it is, every little kid wants to blow candles whether it is her birthday or not. Max (Gabi's Prince) was here. He was the only boy. I love him and wouldn't mind a bit if Gabi stayed in touch with him all growing up and dated him and then married him : ) His parents are excellent too.
Gabi was very happy all day long, the kids all had fun and played well together, and now the children are in bed, the house is all cleaned up and I am very TIRED, but happy and thankful for all my blessings (Gabi being one of the main ones).
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